Clerks II

Look, I'll be honest with you. I think that Kevin Smith is the anti-Christ. His films in recent years have been dismal. I found Dogma to be one of the worst movies ever and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was made to appeal to the lucrative stoner/Generation X market who think that films like this are 'da bomb'. Sigh. I remember the days when people actually spoke correct English, and we really need another World War to thin out the ranks a little. The aforementioned movies only make them believe it's funny to be the hopeless losers that they are. It seems that Kevin Smith is incapable of writing a movie that isn't soaked in f-words or pee and fart jokes. Clerks II is no exception, but he's reined in the stupidity and added enough real human drama to make it bearable for the rest of us.

The store from the first movie has burnt down due to Randal's incompetence and he and Dante are forced to work in Mooby's, a Cow-themed fast-food restaurant with the lovely Becky (the utterly gorgeous Rosario Dawson, whom I would do 86 ways) and Elias, an ultra-Christian who seems to be an exaggerated cross between Rod and Tod Flanders. I imagined the whole movie would be nothing more than them having inane conversations and swearing a lot while Jay and Silent Bob sold weed to the kiddies in the parking lot. And while we do get this there was, surprisingly, a bit of real story in there too.

Dante is about to get married to a gorgeous woman who adores him (but only because she has given up on the shallow, good-looking men) and is leaving NJ forever the next day for sunny Florida. Despite the fact that their lives go nowhere, Randal really doesn't want him to go and would-be true-love Becky tries to convince him that he's fooling himself.

It's the dilemma of finally being able to move on in life with a future of mock-happiness or making the most of what's right in front of you that elevates this higher than the crude JASBSB and the wildly over-rated Dogma. But don't think for a minute that this film will not have extensive conversations on ass-to-mouth (Becky likes it!!!), comparisons of Star Wars with The Lord of the Rings (or Nerd vs Nerd in other words) or arguments about non-racist racist words (Porchmonkey? Never heard of it!) or a man raping a donkey for the viewing pleasure of drunken idiots. And do look out for the 'Who's Your Buddy' Jesus on Jay's T-shirt.

Although he does write some good scenes and his work in comic-books is brilliant (Bluntman and Chronic, read it!) I'm still not convinced of Smith's ability as a director. One superficial and completely pointless dance number doesn't make up for the endless static shots of inside a fast-food joint, but at the very least it's slicker and more professional than Dogma, a film I will never forgive for its infinite rubbishness.