Doctor Dolittle 2

At the centre of this travesty are two plotlines. Will 16-year-old Charisse stop behaving like a spoilt brat and treat her daddy with respect? Will circus bear, Archie, get it off with country bear, Ava?

Daddy is Dolittle, the up-market Californian vet. The filmmakers have stolen ideas from Babe. When the animals speak, their lips move. What they forget, however, is wit. The dialogue dumps.

"No offence," Ava tells Dolittle. "I don't talk to bear pimps."

The Charisse story is a family affair. She locks herself in her room, listening to rap music and ignoring everyone except the pizza delivery boy. Dad bribes her to turn up for her own birthday party by promising a holiday in Europe.

Meanwhile, a forest is being cut down by an uncaring, overweight capitalist (Jeffrey Jones), destroying the habitat of woodland creatures. Dolittle goes to court - Mrs Dolittle (Kristen Wilson) is his attorney - to plead a stay of execution. There is only one female bear left in the forest and he intends on introducing a domesticated male to mate with her, thus saving the species.

Archie has to be taught how to behave in the great outdoors. Ava is not impressed. The wild creatures are all tame and Lucky, the doc's pet mongrel, who narrates the story, has the hots for a timber wolf.

Jokes about sex and bodily functions proliferate. Eddie Murphy turns on the charm offensive. He's cleaned up his act since Raw and 48 HRS. Now he's Suburban Man, with all mod cons.

If the thought of being locked in the lavatory with Archie the Poo appeals, the movie might stir a smile. Otherwise, cross the road and keep walking.