Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2

Let's take a trip to Planet Marvel. It used to be fun; it used to be super (heroic); it used to be a comic. Now the inmates have taken over the asylum and it's come to this - Guardians Of The Fallacy: The Return Ticket.

If you put your brain into a blender and flip those 3-D glasses over candy coloured peepers you might avoid the side effects of a spaced CGI gangfest and offer an Instacritique ("Awesome!") or die of shock.

Here's the thumbnail: Hunky Chunk (Chris Pratt) lost his mom and can't find his dad. Out in space it's all action. Things blow up. Weird people get weirder. Hunky Chunk's team consists of a raccoon that talks (thanks Bradley), a pinky sized twig, called Baby Groot (Vin on vocals), a half-naked iron pumper with man boobs and no neck, a skinny chick with martial arts skills who's sister wants to kill her and maybe someone/something else you've forgotten..

There are baddies, a lady from Planet Goldfinger with an all girl killer squad and a blue guy with shark's teeth who leads a rabble of homeless druggies and believes that the cosmos consists of "those who dance and those who don't" and an even uglier dude, called Taser Face, who makes insanity feel cozy.

Hunky Chunk finds his dad, who is a god and has been alive since the dinosaurs were young and still looks like Kurt Russell.

"I have made mistakes," he tells his boy/man/chunk. "But you are not one of them."

This changes once the special effects partygoers have free access to the toy cupboard and Hunky Chunk tells Imortalman, "You shouldn't have killed my mom and squished my Walkman."

The raccoon cannot save the film from self-destruction but he does pretty well as comic relief despite the occasional lapse such as announcing, "I wanna kill some guys," which is ignored since that's what everyone else is up to.

Making sense of explosions on green screen is a tough call as you spin endlessly in a vacuum created by flatulence from a fading star.