Kicking And Screaming

If this footy film was in a league it would be languishing at the bottom of the Vauxhall Conference. It may seem to be all kitted out for success with its comedy striker Will Ferrell and solid mid-fielder Robert Duvall but its pitch is way off.

Phil (Ferrell going through the motions) is a soft-hearted dad-of-one who has always found it hard to live up to the expectations of his over-competitive Dad (Duvall, who surely must have signed up for this turkey by accident).

Son Sam (Dylan McLaughin) is on the team coached by Grandpop... but spends all his games on the bench. He transfers to the Tigers - the worst team on the block - and, wouldn't you know it, mild-mannered Dad ends up having to coach them.

Ah, the smell of a good formula brewing nicely. Just going through the motions should have been enough to make this at least a two-star movie. Instead, it is the worst film I've seen this year. The script is dreadful - even the slapstick fails to raise a smile. The plot is dull and the direction limp.

There's also lots of lazy racism - strange Kung-Fu like music accompanies the sight of tiny team-mate Byong Sun, the Italians have no eeenglish but are great at football - lesbians are used for a laugh and coffee demonised (no Starbucks sponsorship here).

It's not just unfunny, it's unpleasant. It should have been dragged, kicking and screaming, straight to video.