Meet The Spartans

There aren’t many reasons why you want to watch Meet The Spartans. You might be curious as to what has become of former Eastender Sean Maguire. You might want to see Carmen Electra scantily-clad. However, to save yourself the trouble, for the former check out IMDB, for the latter rent a Baywatch boxset.

When a Persian emissary arrives at Sparta, he informs the Spartans that if they do not submit to their rule, they face being invaded by a mighty force. After killing the messenger and his aids, King Leonidas (Maguire) takes his best soldiers and heads out to meet the massive army that seeks to destroy them.

Following in the ill-received lines of Date Movie and Epic Movie, the ‘creative’ team of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg return with pretty much more of the same. Humour (and this is a loose term) involving vomit, faeces and pus. Lampooning of topical celebrities such as Britney Spears or Simon Cowell. Then there’s the usual parodying of recent big hits, including Transformers, Spider-man 3, Ghost Rider, Happy Feet and, of course, 300. What Seltzer and Friedberg don’t seem to realise is that Zach Snyder’s adaptation of Frank Miller’s cult graphic novel is pretty much a parody of itself.

There are some rare moments of laughter (the Spartans ironing their capes) and the homosexual overtones occasionally get a snigger, but the endless unfunny references to American TV shows just feel like an extended set of unsuccessful sketches.

To his credit though, Maguire tries his hardest and is actually quite good. But still, but not even Peter Sellers in his prime could overcome this material (a Grand Theft Auto skit?!).

The best thing about it? Well aside from the always-wonderful Kevin Sorbo (who proves here he should have been in the original), it’s the running time as it’s only just over an hour long.

Another less-than-funny outing from Seltzer and Friedberg, unlike the warriors of Sparta, Meet The Spartans ’ (cinematic) death certainly isn’t glorious.