Paradise

Hans and Kerstin have been married 65 years and are still happy. Boom, boom! That is not only the beginning and the end. It is the long and uneventful middle of this documentary. The most exciting feature is the title – the name of a wallpaper pattern. Yes, you could be forgiven for thinking you are in old folk reality show. Except reality shows usually have something dryer than wallpaper-paste to watch.

Happy people do not exciting stories make. A pleasant difference of opinion over papering a wall would be an interesting story among friends. For about three minutes as you look for the zimmer frame. For an hour-long film, I struggled incredulously that anyone had bothered. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for them. Models of contentment and tolerance. He even has a hobby (playing the trumpet, in a very average sort of way.) Other highlights include making a sponge cake. Badly.

And that sums up this film. It would be nice if all couples were this happy for this long. It would be even nicer if they had something to blow their trumpet about. Hans and Kerstin are cute. Sweet. Nice people. I’d welcome them for tea any day (dinner might be a bit long, as they’ve nothing of substance to talk about.). If I wanted to be this happy I’d take valium. At least the (similarly aged) couple in Mulholland Drive could drive one to stardom or drugs. These just send me to sleep.

Let me give you a trailer. You’ve just put some wallpaper up. Does your other half like it? Guess what - it could always be painted over! Oooooooooh the tension... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz