Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse

Scouts are good with tents and knots and camp fires, not American Pie Meets The Evil Dead.

"I'll eat what he's eating." No thanks.

It starts as underage comedy. "Junior year is when girls become sluts," one of these teen scouts announces. He takes the view that Baden-Powell's uniform is a seduction tool of ball-crushing negativity. Chick chat requires alcohol, a cool line in flatter flash and an outfit that doesn't scream "Be prepared".

Yes, you have been here before. Some of the way, at least.

Best friends - the shy kid, the dick and the nerd - are off to the woods with their closet gay Dolly Parton supafan scout leader because the nerd needs to pass some test to become whatever is next on the self-efficiency ladder.

The shy kid fancies the dick's sister but doesn't do anything about it because she's his best buddy's... you know. The dick hears of a party where the older girls will be struttin' their slut and persuades the shy kid to sneak out after dark to gatecrash the action.

Meanwhile, the maybe gay Dolly wally has been bitten by a zombie and is on a hunger rage, like practically the entire neighborhood. Our trio of scoutlets, with the assistance of a tomboy stripper, hear that the military is intent on bombing the town to decimate the undead cannibals and so have to find the party people quick to warn them to get the hell out before kiss kiss becomes KABOOM!!

There are moments when the humour clunk-clicks into place and you see the possibilities of a dark apocalyptic satire emerging from the dross. Zombie cats are fun but exploding heads are not.

It is unfair to ask a critic over the age of 20 to review this without a pinch of stupid dust. Taken at face value, even when that face has been mutilated by an expert make up artist, this is the film that will drive moviegoers into the outer brightness of HBO and the TV long haulers.

If you want a story that bleeds across a multitude of episodes and characters that have the stamina to gain your respect don't join the scouts.