The Fog

Stay away from The Fog should be the tagline for this movie. If, like me, you were holding out, praying this movie isn't as bad as all those American reviewers said it was and were thinking that maybe, just maybe, this isn't going to be another Ghosts Of Mars... I hate to break it to you but by the end of this movie you'll be begging for cheesy performances from Ice Cube and Natasha Henstridge just to wash away the bad taste that the fog leaves.

The story is this. The residents of a small seaside town are celebrating the anniversary of their town's birth when a pea souper comes rolling in with some "scary" folk out for revenge on the wrongs that were done to them many moons ago.

That was the original concept directed by John Carpenter, who set about creating a creepy little tale with just the right amount of horror and suspense to keep you going. And, you know what, to this day the original is still one of my favourite movies.

Now take everything that makes the original so creepy and atmospheric - the intro with the ghost tale around the camp fire told by the old sea dog, the way that on midnight leading into the day of the anniversary the whole town suddenly awakens and lots of weird stuff happens, the fact that you don't actually see what's in the fog until near the end but the fog itself is still creepy as hell, and finally the score that makes the movie even more haunting.

Now take all of those elements and throw them in the bin and you have the new Fog. This movie has nothing to do with the original but still tries it's hardest to better it. The performances are even worse than the story behind the remake. Tom Welling plays Nick Castle, and does it really badly. At least with Tom Atkins you actually thought the guy was a decent character, with Tom Welling you can't help but think that he should stick to Superman. Selma Blair takes over from Adrienne Barbeau as a funkier, rockier Stevie Wayne. I only have this to say... No! And finally we come to the woman who pretty much makes this movie the pile of horse's apples that it is - Maggie Grace, who takes over from Jamie Lee Curtis. She simply doesn't know how to look anything other than confused.

All in all if you want a movie to suck big time then get these three together again and you've got a sure-fire stinker on your hands.

Now folks, you're probably thinking that I am being too hard on this movie but I leave you with this final thought... stay away from The Fog.