The Shaggy Dog

You want to know how disgustingly, morbidly PC Disney has become? They put trousers on a monkey because they are afraid to show naked animals in case parents are offended. Can you believe that? What is this world coming to? Walt would be spinning in his grave if he were not cryogenically frozen.

Tim Allen plays Dave Douglas, a bad dad who neglects his wife and kids and does way too much overtime. He's a lawyer, you see, and his current big case involves an animal research company who turn poodles into frogs or something like that. Their goal is to make the elixir of everlasting life so naturally one would turn a poodle into a frog to achieve such a noble ambition.

Dave is bitten by one of the dogs and now is infected with dogness. This causes him to periodically turn into a dog and 'hilarity' ensues as he tries to keep up his case and maintain his family life. Why on earth would you want to see this? Tim Allen has already played a neglectful dad who learns important lessons after undergoing a weird metamorphosis in two Santa Clause movies so he's not broadening his role much. And how many movies are there with bad dads (always the dad and never the mum, eh?) who are usually lawyers who learn the same crap? About 86 billion!

I can understand why Tim Allen is in this as he is constantly scraping the bottom of the sludge barrel but how the hell did they get Robert Downey Jnr, Danny Glover AND Philip Baker Hall do to this? They must owe their bookmakers a fair whack. No one in their right mind could read this script and find it worthy of their talents.

So not only does the story stink of the worst cliches but it's woefully misjudged and badly directed. The scene where Mrs Douglas confronts her dog husband and hears him bark "I wuff woo" is pretty much the most disturbing scene I've ever come across. And I've watched snuff. When they look into each others eyes I seriously thought she'd start making out with him.

And when the film finishes... is Dave still going to turn into a dog? Is he cured? Who knows? Do I really care that much?

Why? Why do I do this myself? If you really hate life then see this movie. If you are of sound body and mind then save the pennies for guns, drugs and ill hookers. It's money better spent. Trust me!