What If

TV rom-coms, such as How I Met Your Mother, have a team of writers churning out one liners like there's no tomorrow. It doesn't work that way in movies. In his latest post Potter fun fest Daniel Radcliffe's rom-bomb lacks exactly that - fun.

Girls like shy. No threat. They like womanising charm alarm bad boys, too. As someone says, "This love shit is complicated."

Tell that to Wallace (Radcliffe). He's been dumped by his girlfriend, dropped out of med school and stays in most nights because he's lost his mojo.

You can't be a party pooper forever when sex is on tap and if you don't go with the flow people will think you're the biggest loser in town, or gay.

Wallace meets Chantry (Zoe Kazan). She's in a long-term relationship with Ben (Rafe Spall), who works for the UN in Canada, or some such organisation that involves trips abroad, and is a pompous arse. Chantry, on the other hand, is fizzy and life-enhancing, which can be annoying although Wallace doesn't think so.

Here we have a will-she-won't-she romance in which they tell each other that they're friends because she's loyal to Mr Boring and he's too scared to make a move.

The script is as flat as Monday morning. You want to take Wallace aside and tell him, "Get in there, or get out," because watching nothing is worse than hoping and being dashed.