Reviews by Symon Parsons

Order by: Date, A–Z

• 
  After The Sunset (2004)

  Light-hearted take on To Catch A Thief, transplanted to the Bahamas.
• 
  Angel Eyes (2001)

  Review preview for Angel Eyes

  Without a doubt one of the most boring films I've ever not slept through.

  A tough Chicago cop falls for a drifter with a dodgy past.
• 
  Atlantis - The Lost Empire (2001)

  Review preview for Atlantis - The Lost Empire

  A slim plot, but held together by great animation

  Animated adventure about a quest to find the lost city.
• 
  Billy Elliot (1999)

  Review preview for Billy Elliot

  Lee Hall's multi-faceted script manages to open up the story behind the strike, touches on sexuality and expression through art while appearing to be just telling a damn good story.

  Young lad from up north finds freedom through ballet.
• 
  Braveheart (1995)

  Review preview for Braveheart

  In terms of accuracy, Braveheart is a big pile of mince.

  Hollywood retelling of the story of William Wallace.
• 
  Bride And Prejudice (2004)

  Jane Austen romance, Bollywood style.
• 
  Cats & Dogs (2001)

  Review preview for Cats & Dogs

  Even the young kids in the audience seemed bored. (There was a stampede for the toilets after about 20 minutes.)

  Evil cats try to take over the world.
• 
  The Chorus (2004)

  Review preview for The Chorus

  Despite the predictability of the outcome and the extremely manipulative story, The Chorus is still hugely enjoyable.

  A French music teacher brings new meaning to the lives of his troubled charges.
• 
  Christmas With The Kranks (2004)

  Review preview for Christmas With The Kranks

  Have you been naughty or nice this year? Be careful - if you end up on the bad side, Santa may leave Christmas With The Kranks in your stocking.

  Busybody neighbours force unfestive couple to enter into the spirit of Christmas.
• 
  The Contender (2000)

  Rival vice-presidential candidates are embroiled in battle of PR and intrigue in this intelligent political satire.
• 
  Donnie Brasco (1997)

  Review preview for Donnie Brasco

  I think this is the best film made about the Mafia.

  An FBI man faces conflicted loyalties after infiltrating the mob.
• 
  De Grote Vakantie (2000)

  Review preview for De Grote Vakantie

  In dwelling on the incidentals, we do get a sense of walking in Van Der Keuken's footsteps; but it also weakens the film.

  Documentary following the director's battle with prostate cancer.
• Evolution (2001)

  Lock up your biologists! Second rate comic sci-fi effort where the jokes fall as flat as the science... though the stars all have glossy kissable hair of course.
• 
  Falling Angels (2003)

  Review preview for Falling Angels

  Falling Angels is a film of quiet charm, graced by moments of nicely observed humour and great performances.

  Three sisters growing up in a dysfunctional Canadian home in the late Sixties.
• 
  Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

  A select group of scientist soldiers search for earth spirit in devasted America after alien colonisation.
• 
  The Gleaners And I (2000)

  Review preview for The Gleaners And I

  A journey to places you'd never go, to see things you'd never expect to find.

  Director Agnes Varda goes in search of those who live on what others leave behind.
• 
  The Goodies... At Last A Second Helping (1977)

  Eight more episodes from the iconic Seventies TV comedy sketch show.
• 
  The Green Mile (1999)

  A prison guard's relationship with a death row prisoner. Now out to own on Special Edition two-disc DVD.
• Head-On (2004)

  Review preview for Head-On

  Sibel Kekilli gives a great performance as a young woman, driven to despise herself, whose only release is in one-night stands.

  Love and anguish amongst Turkish immigrants in Germany.
• 
  Hollow Man (2000)

  Review preview for Hollow Man

  The word 'restraint' is to Paul Verhoeven what 'talent' is to Steps.

  Modern take on the Invisible Man sees Kevin Bacon do a disappearing act.
• 
  The House Of Mirth (2000)

  Review preview for The House Of Mirth

  A visual treat.

  A New York socialite faces financial ruin after falling victim to the rumour of an affair.
• 
  House On Haunted Hill (1999)

  Review preview for House On Haunted Hill

  Horrendous nonsense, the basic moral of which is that you shouldn't wear a cravat unless you're Jason King.

  A millionaire offers $1 million to anyone who can spend the night in a haunted asylum.
• 
  Inside Deep Throat (2005)

  Review preview for Inside Deep Throat

  Witty and intelligent.

  Documentary on the making of the most famous blow job in the history of blue movies.
• 
  Kingdom Of Heaven (2005)

  Review preview for Kingdom Of Heaven

  The battle for Jerusalem is full of jaw-dropping, breathless action.

  Retelling of the 12th Century battle for Jerusalem.
• 
  Kinsey (2004)

  Review preview for Kinsey

  Condon has a wicked sense of humour and the cast make the most of a witty script with a number of laugh-out-loud lines.

  The life and ideas of a scientist who believed in sexual healing.
• 
  Koroshi (2000)

  Review preview for Koroshi

  Although the bright, snow-covered world is far removed from classic noir, it is the perfect setting to express the cold heart of Hawazaki's wife.

  After losing his job, Hawazaki becomes a paid assassin of other unemployed men.
• 
  Lara Croft Tomb Raider (2001)

  Review preview for Lara Croft Tomb Raider

  This is a half-decent Episode 1 of an action summer blockbuster.

  Bringing the video game adventurer to life.
• 
  Little Fish (2005)

  Review preview for Little Fish

  The downbeat tone and slow, dreamlike direction of the film lend an air of inevitability to the proceedings.

  A woman struggles to escape her criminal past.
• 
  Look At Me (2004)

  A young woman finds herself torn between idolising her father and hating him for his indifferent attitude towards her.
• 
  Love, Honour And Obey (2000)

  Review preview for Love, Honour And Obey

  This is an entertaining film, but it's all over the place.

  Cockney gangland drama shows business and buddies don't mix.
• Minder - Series 10 (1994)

  Review preview for Minder - Series 10

  A series that maintained its quality to the very last.

  The last hurrah from Arthur Daley and his dodgy deals.
• 
  Man Of The House (2005)

  Review preview for Man Of The House

  Not only will it insult your intelligence, it will poke your intelligence in the eye and steal its wallet.

  Texas Ranger goes undercover to protect teenage cheerleaders.
• 
  Mission: Impossible II (2000)

  Review preview for Mission: Impossible II

  The action in this film is non-stop, jaw-dropping and adjective-inducing.

  Tom Cruise is back as Ethan Hunt in the big action sequel to the TV spin off.
• 
  Mondays In The Sun (2002)

  Review preview for Mondays In The Sun

  It's like Boys From The Blackstuff, Spanish-style, a tragic story, told with love and black humour.

  Men without jobs in Galicia share friendship, black humour and alcohol.
• 
  My Heart (2000)

  Review preview for My Heart

  A lyrical and tender film.

  Tragic story sees a woman recall her life.
• 
  Onibaba (1964)

  An impoverished mother turns to murder as a method of survival at a time of civil war.
• 
  Our Song (1999)

  Review preview for Our Song

  Shot in an unobtrusive style, the camera lets the girls tell their story themselves.

  Three teenage girls coping with growing up in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.
• Peter Cook And Dudley Moore: The Very Best Of Goodbye Again (1968)

  Review preview for Peter Cook And Dudley Moore: The Very Best Of Goodbye Again

  Even bad Cook and Moore compares well to most sketch comedy.

  A taste of Pete and Dud from their ATV sketch show in the Sixties.
• 
  Pearl Harbor (2001)

  Review preview for Pearl Harbor

  Not so much From Here To Eternity as From Here To This Time Next Week, which is a terrible waste.

  The three-hour, $139 million take on the historical event that launched the USA into the Second World War.
• 
  Planet Of The Apes (2001)

  Review preview for Planet Of The Apes

  It looks great... But despite this, the brilliant make-up, and the huge set-piece action sequences, it just doesn't come off.

  Tim Burton's monkeys are revolting.
• 
  Ponette (1996)

  Review preview for Ponette

  A lovely, lyrical little film with a startlingly good performance by little Ponette.

  A little girl comes to terms with the death of her mum.
• 
  Private (2004)

  Review preview for Private

  Private winds up the tension, showing how each step in a conflict comes slowly, inexorably and often between individuals who are not natural enemies.

  A Palestinian family is subjected to Israeli occupation of the most personal kind.
• 
  The Republic Of Love (2003)

  Review preview for The Republic Of Love

  Deepa Mehta brings her Indian influence to what is otherwise a standard bit of middle-aged navel gazing.

  Two sceptic believers test the fallibility of true love in a cold Toronto winter.
• 
  Ray (2004)

  Review preview for Ray

  The real star of the film is the music - and there's lots of it.

  The genius that is Ray Charles.
• 
  The Score (2001)

  Review preview for The Score

  The film seems to be building to a confrontation between the actors but instead you get the credits. And given the fine cast, this lack of a Third Act is a major mistake.

  A master criminal plans one last heist.
• 
  Shrek (2001)

  Review preview for Shrek

  An instant classic and far too good for children.

  The story of Shrek the Ogre, a creature that looks like a cross between Danny de Vito and something that just fell out of your nose...
• 
  Star Wars: Episode 3 - Revenge Of The Sith (2005)

  Review preview for Star Wars: Episode 3 - Revenge Of The Sith

  Full speed ahead and over the top.

  Anakin's personal struggle against the Dark Side becomes more difficult as rebellious robots and an enemy within threaten to topple the Republic.
• 
  Swordfish (2001)

  Review preview for Swordfish

  In trying to defy action-thriller conventions, Swordfish merely produces the most oddly inert action heroes ever.

  Super-hacker Hugh Jackman is induced to work for an out-of-control government agent John Travolta.
• 
  Team America: World Police (2004)

  Review preview for Team America: World Police

  Unfortunately, satirical movies require the odd joke and you could boil eggs in the gaps between laughs in Team America.

  A disillusioned actor joins a team of five specially selected all-American heroes aiming to thwart evil terrorists in Parker and Stone's attempt to make a Jerry Bruckheimer movie using puppets.
• 
  There's Only One Jimmy Grimble (2000)

  Review preview for There's Only One Jimmy Grimble

  Newcomer Lewis McKenzie plays Jimmy with an energy and fire which propels everything.

  A misfit schoolkid dreams of being a footie star.